Dick Gephardt: populist weeniewagger

"PLEASE, Mr. Bush! Don't call me names! I'll do whatever you say! PLEASE don't try to make me look bad when I make yet another [failed] bid for the presidency in 2004! Fuck the Democrats! Fuck the people! If you want a war, I'll give you one! I'd NEVER go against you, Sir! I promise!

... now, that was 100 shares of Exxon after Iraq falls, and I get to be minority leader again after I help you guys take back the senate in the mid-terms, right?"

(no subject)

"The plan is simple, see... We delay the UN inspecshunists fer 8 days, startin' day after tomorra. Then, tomorra, we tell that Saddam he dun got six days ta let the inspecshunists look at his intire country. See? Then it dun look on paper like we give him a chance, but he really don't got nuff time tuh cumply, see. That thar trick dun werked real good when the Daddy's and Reagan's supreem cort jusges what stopped them recounts, and I rekon it'll work good like here, too."

Dubya Slips Up: part MCMXXVII

"See, them eurotrash liberals in th UN don't know how thangs werk here in the good ol' USA. That Saddam says he's gonna let them UN fellers in to look at his wepuns. See, the thang is that could take munths. We got sum good ole boys comin' up fer reelecshun in November... If we don't git all kinds a fancy smartbomb footage to distract the publick by then, I rekon people might start realizin' just how bad their OWN country is and vote democratic."

Curious George goes to Congress

"OK, fellers... now, tomorra I rekon we're a-gonna go to them congress fellers and pleed our case for the bombin' of that Saddam in Irack. We're a-gonna say what we gotta say, and we're gonna respect thar upinyuns... If they say no, we're gonna take that, an' get on tah workin' on the economee and creatin' jobs for Amarkin peepul....


har har har... that wuz a good wun, huh? yeee-hah... Scarred ya dint I? Nah, if them liberal pussies tell us no, we're A-GONNA BOMB THAT SADDAM ANYWAY!! Now let's git us some oil, boys!!!!

(no subject)

*thinking* "Damn! That's nastee... but they sey the feller what smelled it, is the feller whut dealt it... so hold quiet now, Georgie... don't say a word, and ain't no one gonna rekon yer the feller what been eatin' too much chili."