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Tuesday, December 14th, 2004
11:13 am
Hands up if you remember this journal!


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Wednesday, June 18th, 2003
3:31 pm - hmmm
Magic Number7
TemperamentA Yo-Yo
Likely To WinA Free Coke
Me - In A WordWhirlwind
Brought to you by MemeJack

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Thursday, January 9th, 2003
8:23 am - well, back to work.

"Whun, too, three, fore, I delare a Class War! Five, sicks, sevin, ate, the upper class will dominate!"

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Saturday, November 2nd, 2002
3:20 pm - Bush ignores his Presidential duties to stump for the GOP

"Bein' republakin is about not bein' liberal! it's about bein' more conservativist with amerkins tax dollerz... now, if y'all wul excuse me, I rekon I'm gonna drop more of y'alls tax dollerz into Air Farce Whun's gas tank, and do more campainin' for mah Republakin frends."</b>

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Sunday, October 6th, 2002
6:44 am - Dick Gephardt: populist weeniewagger

"PLEASE, Mr. Bush! Don't call me names! I'll do whatever you say! PLEASE don't try to make me look bad when I make yet another [failed] bid for the presidency in 2004! Fuck the Democrats! Fuck the people! If you want a war, I'll give you one! I'd NEVER go against you, Sir! I promise!

... now, that was 100 shares of Exxon after Iraq falls, and I get to be minority leader again after I help you guys take back the senate in the mid-terms, right?"

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6:28 am

"The plan is simple, see... We delay the UN inspecshunists fer 8 days, startin' day after tomorra. Then, tomorra, we tell that Saddam he dun got six days ta let the inspecshunists look at his intire country. See? Then it dun look on paper like we give him a chance, but he really don't got nuff time tuh cumply, see. That thar trick dun werked real good when the Daddy's and Reagan's supreem cort jusges what stopped them recounts, and I rekon it'll work good like here, too."

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Wednesday, October 2nd, 2002
9:41 pm - Congess gives the go ahead for Oil War: Part Deux

"WHEW! Thar fer a minute I rekoned I wuz gonna have some explaynin' ta do on the eeconumee... "

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Sunday, September 22nd, 2002
7:48 pm - Dubya Slips Up: part MCMXXVII

"See, them eurotrash liberals in th UN don't know how thangs werk here in the good ol' USA. That Saddam says he's gonna let them UN fellers in to look at his wepuns. See, the thang is that could take munths. We got sum good ole boys comin' up fer reelecshun in November... If we don't git all kinds a fancy smartbomb footage to distract the publick by then, I rekon people might start realizin' just how bad their OWN country is and vote democratic."

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Friday, September 20th, 2002
12:53 am - Curious George goes to Congress

"OK, fellers... now, tomorra I rekon we're a-gonna go to them congress fellers and pleed our case for the bombin' of that Saddam in Irack. We're a-gonna say what we gotta say, and we're gonna respect thar upinyuns... If they say no, we're gonna take that, an' get on tah workin' on the economee and creatin' jobs for Amarkin peepul....


har har har... that wuz a good wun, huh? yeee-hah... Scarred ya dint I? Nah, if them liberal pussies tell us no, we're A-GONNA BOMB THAT SADDAM ANYWAY!! Now let's git us some oil, boys!!!!

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Wednesday, September 18th, 2002
6:48 pm

*thinking* "Damn! That's nastee... but they sey the feller what smelled it, is the feller whut dealt it... so hold quiet now, Georgie... don't say a word, and ain't no one gonna rekon yer the feller what been eatin' too much chili."

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Sunday, September 15th, 2002
2:25 am - The Pretzel Casserole Strikes Back

"Grrpk *choke* hep... hacccckckckck... water! Hrrk... *gag* mrrp *choke* DADDY!!!"

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Saturday, September 14th, 2002
2:06 am - Dubya sets an example for our nation's students

"Lissun, boy, it's P-O-T-A-T-O-E. An' unless y'all are wantin' to meet the Homeland Security Dept. all up close an' persunal like, you bes' not be sassin' me over it none, you git me?"

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1:51 am - Dubya goes to the Art Museum

Bush: "Whooo-eee! I shore love goin' to the Myewzeeum' and lookin' at all this here fancy art. Hey, whar's y'all's copy of Dogs Playin' Poker? I rekon that's mah favorite paintin' in the whole world!

Putin: Uh... Mr. Boosh, vee are in Amerikan Vhite Houze, doorahk.

Bush: "Oh."

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Thursday, September 12th, 2002
6:23 pm

"Uh... I dun surved in Vietnamm... I wuz... uhhh... in the... Mereenz, I think, Er, no... air nashunal gard... No, I rekon I wuz in the Navy.. hold on. *switches lines* Hi, Daddy. Which part of the milutary wuz I in, accordin' to them papers y'all had made up?"

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Monday, September 9th, 2002
3:54 am - Bush's Poetry Corner

"Commies are red
Oil is black
Daddy dun a speech
with a big bag of crack...

no.. that ain't good.

I'm still the boss
though I lost the elecshun.
I rekon I gave the econamee
a lethal injecshun.

Nah.. I don't like that one.

I'll return this country's values
Back to the days of the Edsel.
So please Lord Jesus
Don't let me choke on a pretzel.

Aw, shit, slim... I rekon it's hopeless. I figgered makin' young voters rekon I'm a sensutive art feller was a shore way tuh get the youth vote in 2004. Any one else gots any idears?

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3:29 am

"bushorchimp.com? Whoo-weee! That feller sure looks like an ape to me! Dang! Hey, slim, who is that feller up thar anyway?"

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Friday, September 6th, 2002
4:35 pm - Meanwhile, in the underbelly of Washington DC

"And the concentration camps will be open and ready for the liquidation of 'enemy combatants' by Christmas? Eeeeeexcccccellllent."

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4:19 pm

"See, I rekon we gotta duhfend our freedum. That bein', my freedum ot take away yer freedum. Yer freedum to not help tarrorists by askin' nosey questions about yer rights and all that liberal crap. We need tuh git yer mailman, yer cable guy, an' even yer naybers reportin' on ya. On you reportin' on them. Everything y'all do needs to be reportid to the guvernmint. That, mah fella Amerakins, is thuh only way Amaraka is gonna remain free."

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Thursday, September 5th, 2002
1:26 am - And now, a message from the President of the United States of America

"See? I TOLD you! Well, I hope all those 'Sore/Loserman' jokes you made around the watercooler while wishing the recounts would end are still funny now that you're unemployed and broke."

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Wednesday, September 4th, 2002
10:01 pm - awww, isn't he sweet?

"See, I'm a loving guy. I love drillin' fer oil, bombin' a-rabs, Seein' Riett Puhleece mace baby liberals... helpin' cumpanees git around envirunmental protecshun, and executin' retards back in Texass! I'm a cumpashunate cunservative. Which means I cunserve mah cumpashun for rich white folks!"

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